choosing to heal
Most times, the process of healing enters our lives either roughly or involuntarily. Something in life finally pulls the rug from under us and we find ourselves on our asses trying to figure out how we got here. If we are lucky, we get up, take a long, hard look into the mirror, and accept that we are the ones who have been in our own way. If not, we often believe and continue to progress through life as if everyone else is the source of our pain and unhappiness.
I would hope that we don’t choose the latter, but it happens. Too often, we convince ourselves that we’re “healing” but we’re still angry about our realities and self-sabotaging any amount of growth within our circumstances. But maybe, that too is a form of healing - making the mistakes and learning from them as you move forward is part of the process.
Within the new wave of spirituality and self-care, it’s possible that many of us so desperately want to embrace the aesthetic of healing without doing the work. At one very brief point, I was definitely a part of the crowd. Shit, I still love me some tea and a head wrap. But I found out that the roots are often much deeper than the aesthetic and it will only sustain you for so long.
I never truly subscribed to the idea that my 20s were about selfishness and living it up. There definitely is a level of selfishness and freedom that comes when no one is legally depending on you. But I sometimes worry that the rhetoric of living one's best life may negate the work that it actually takes to get there mentally, emotionally, physically and financially.
I’m definitely grateful to have dealt with some issues at 21 rather than putting them on hold for another 10 years.
As a society, we thrive on instant gratification and the shiniest parts of ourselves. Choosing to heal means acknowledging that your shit does in fact stink. It’s not linear and at times it can be really messy. You can almost always expect things to get worse before they get better.
Be willing to look in the mirror and purge the mess. Slow down long enough to witness the cycles in your life and determine what gets to stay.
Most importantly, don’t be afraid to go against the grain. Commit to healing the things that may still afflict your family. Free yourself from the burden of just “being the way you are.”
You deserve it.