welcome!

I started writing something like this months ago. Within the same month that I committed to organizing I decided that I didn’t want to be a business and gave myself permission to be nothing until I figured out what I want to be. Therein lies the problem: over-planning leads to procrastinations leads to insecurity leads to nothing, immobility, inaction. And then there is the depression and anxiety. Trying to be a bad bitch with depression is a full time job, one that doesn’t pay like the 5-day a week office job that does. Did I mention I’m a cancer? So add in the feelings, all of them.

I therapy and it helps me.

I can acknowledge when I am not feeling the greatest, allow myself to well up with tears. Perfection has stopped being my goal, but only just. Sometimes what gets in the way, facilitates the inaction, I just can’t verbalize, can’t figure out how to rectify the desire for a kind of perfection that haunts me. Do I need a hug and an edible? Maybe, D, a nap and some pizza? Possibly so. Writing is my attempt to sort this through, to resolve the tendency toward dissatisfaction, to find community.

Because I haven’t mastered the art of seeking community, and because solitude is still a preference, even as it hinders my progress I created: De(liberate)ly Well.

This is a space about the realness and rawness of starting where you are, with the tools that you have at your disposal. More than a space of personal reflections, this space is for us: the dreamers, the doers, the wanters, who have depression and anxiety; we acknowledge our fears and our joys and attempt to mobilize how we can live and thrive in spite, maybe even because of our mental health conditions. This is for any and every one in search of tools. With accountability and collective healing as a main goal, I’ll share the lessons I’m living and learning so we can quite literally, get our lives. If nothing else, I am hopeful that you can leave this space with your own parameters for YOUR, individual best life, not some picture drawn by others: society, your parents, your should have hads.

De(liberate)ly Well is a space for being, happily, presently, fully.