are you asking for permission to live your life?
Story time! Once upon a time there was a colleague of mine who felt the need to report to our boss about a particular resource I was using to my advantage: working from home. It’s important to note that this practice was not problematic, it did not distract anyone from his or her workload, nor did it interfere with my ability to efficiently tackle my workload. My decision to work from home, about two days per week, was made in an effort to deal with a few months of heightened anxiety and depression.
Shorty took it upon herself to dive into something in which she had no real knowledge of and blew up the spot. Not only does this person not live by the G code, she intentionally tried to sabotage me by bypassing my line manager and speaking to our divisional boss.
While my first instinct was to write her off as a hater (read: wack bish), I chose to also look for the deeper meaning and lesson in the foolishness.
Too many people go about their daily lives subconsciously seeking a permission slip to do what they please. However, that’s to be expected. The education system trains us to be conformist and fearful of life outside of the expected norm. Then we grow up to be adults who either acclimate or try to unlearn these habits.
Most people need a savior, or a martyr, who awakens them to who they have wanted to be all along. It is safe to say that most haters are people who solely dislike you because you do or have done what they are too afraid to do. They finds it easier to put energy into trying to sabotage you instead of looking at the source of their own discomfort.
In my case, home girl probably wanted the same option in her position but never asked. I can imagine how perplexed she felt witnessing the new girl taking advantage of something her manager may have not made available to her.
Unfortunately, her behavior not only reflected on her but it affected our working relationship as we were only a few people from our account based in the office. But lesson learned. While I’ve never been the type to try to fuck up a bag for someone, I can relate to the feeling of powerlessness that can become of you when watching others live and behave in the ways you would like to. Nevertheless, the difference between us is that I make a conscious decision to live in my life in the way I see fit.
I don’t seek permission to get the things that I need in any area of my life. I refuse to move as if I need a hall pass to to do so. I also don’t speak as if I need clearance to be heard.
On behalf of anyone who may be dealing or has dealt with a similar issue, carry on. Allow your confidence to weed out the shook ones. On the flip side, maybe you’re the hater and you never knew it. Maybe you move funny and you need someone to give you permission to be yourself. Maybe if you worried (or posted) less about what everyone else you’d be able to secure some wins for yourself. If it’s true: check yourself, lick your wounds and get with the program.
This isn’t for everybody, but it may just be for you.
Proceed accordingly.
“and the whole world is going mad, daddy, it’s sad, daddy.
My only advice is go and get you a bag, daddy.”
-Kendrick Lamar